Experience, Life

Make Choice…but Carefully!!

E+R=O

I am a great devotee of Lord Krishna and when I was tired looking for a competent Guru for me, I adopted him as my Kul-Guru. It is not very long back. I converted myself from devotee to disciple in the year 2010 only.
I am the strong follower of one of his teachings : what you sow, so will you Reap. Your future will depend upon the choice /s you make today, and your present is the result of what choice /s you made in past.
In modern management system, the world has accepted this teaching but in their own fashion. Different people have described in different ways; but the one very close to my heart is the formula, which I learn from my dear friend, Dr. Robert Resnick, a psychotherapist in Los Angeles. And the formula is: E+R=O (Event + Response = Outcome).
The basic idea is that every outcome we experience in life; whether it is success or failure, wealth or poverty, health or illness, intimacy or estrangement, joy or frustration; is the result of how we have responded to an earlier event or events in our life.


If we don’t like the outcomes we are currently getting, there are two basic choices we can make:

1. We can blame the event (E) for our lack of results (O).

2. We can instead simply change our responses (R) to the events (E)-the way things are-until we get the outcomes (O) we want.


I want to share one of my life’s deadliest experiences to establish the worth of this idea. This example will also take you through the darkest street of the journey of my life.
In 2007, me and one of my best friend decided to start our own businesses. We collected our all savings and invested about 5-5 lakh rupees each in the business of our individual choice. In First year, my business was slow but his business went well and he made 15 lakh rupees that year. He asked me to join his business, but I refused. Next 2 years in 2008 and 2009 there was worldwide recession; that affected my business badly, but I was still able to survive somehow but my friend lost all his money and he started taking loans from banks and friends and continued investing in share market. I was thinking to wind up the business immediately but people around me kept encouraging me and funded me to carry on my activities, but how long??
I was too out of money soon and realised that apart from my initial investment, I have created a liability of Rupees 25 lakh, means total Loss of 30 Lakh rupees. On the other side, my friend had lost all is 40 lakhs, that he made in 2 years and created a liability of another 30 lakhs. As the situation getting worse, I decided to quit and winded up, but my friend was in a bad condition, people who gave him money, started following him for repayment, but he had nothing to pay. He was so tensed that one night he committed suicide. This event affected me badly and I also started thinking like him, but suddenly I recalled the teaching of my Guru and chose not to follow my friend. I analysed the reasons of failure and came to know that my decision about starting business in that specific city was wrong, hence, no one else but I am responsible for the outcome. Then I changed my response to this new event and I sold my house which was not parental one. Repaid all liabilities and shifted to Qatar. Today, I have my own house again and helping my friend’s family as well.
I frequently think, if I would have responded to that event in other way, what the outcome would have been??
In our life and life of people we know, we can find many such examples that teach us – the way you respond to the event, the outcome would be according.
Never ever put the blame of your failure or credit of your success to the circumstances, people, government or economy.

Take 100% responsibility of your life and always remember that “IF YOU DON’T LIKE YOUR OUTCOMES, CHANGE YOUR RESPONSES to the EVENTS Take place around you.”

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