I am a great fan of the book- “The Survivor Personality” by Dr. Al Siebert (published in 2010). It talks about “The Survivor Personality” : Why Some People are Stronger, Smarter and More Skillful at Handling Life’s Difficulties… and How You Can Be, Too!!
Why I liked this book?
only one reason, it is a ditto English version of my thoughts (not incidents and examples) and ideas about the subject.
Being Survivor against all odds has become the way of my life. Time and again I have faced new adversities and faced them successfully to emerge as Survivor. Yes, I am a survivor!! I have to be!! Rather everyone of us should be a Survivor. God has built us to survive.
When you are hit by adversity or have your life disrupted, how do you respond?
- Some people feel victimized. They blame others for their plight.
- Some shut down. They feel helpless and overwhelmed.
- Some get angry. They lash out and try to hurt anyone they can.
- A few, however, reach within themselves and find ways to cope with the difficult circumstance. They eventually make things turn out well.
The last category of the people, mentioned above, are life’s best survivors, those people with an amazing capacity for surviving crises and extreme difficulties. They are resilient and durable in distressing situations. They regain emotional balance quickly, adapt, and cope well. They thrive by gaining strength from adversity and often convert misfortune into a gift.
Are life’s best survivors different from other people?
No. They survive, cope, and thrive better because they are better at using the inborn capabilities possessed by all humans.
From my life experiences and reading the above mentioned book, I learned that :-
- survivors are ordinary people with flaws, worries, and imperfections. When people call them heroes they disagree.
- a few people are born with their survivor traits firmly intact. They are the natural athletes in the game of life and have a natural talent for coping well. The rest of us need to work consciously to develop our abilities. We have to work at learning how to handle pressure, difficult people, negative situations, and disruptive change.
- some of life’s best survivors grew up in horrible family situations and that many people least skillful at coping with life’s difficulties have come from ideal homes.
- Many of the strongest people in our world have been through experiences that no public school would be allowed to arrange. They have been strengthened in the school of life. They have been abused, lied to, deceived, robbed, raped, mistreated, and hit by the worst that life can throw at them. Their reaction is to pick themselves up, learn important lessons, set positive goals, and rebuild their lives.
- people seldom tap into their deepest strengths and abilities until forced to do so by a major adversity.